Saws
Chainsaws suck*. The gas, the noise, the chaps. Then there's that silly little issue of slicing off a limb or two. And there's never been, as far as we can tell, any Texas Handsaw Massacre movies either. We say who needs 'em when an old-fashioned garden saw will do the trick faster and more safely. Still wickedly sharp, just attach a small folding saw to your belt for that backyard gunslinger look, enforcing law and order among the trees and shrubs. Or, grab your trusty bow(saw) and thin the herd, if you know what I mean.
*Yeah, yeah, we know it's possible you still might need to use a chain saw and they can be quite handy. Please excuse the dramatic effect. How else do you expect us to get you to read this stuff without a little hyperbole?
